My Catholic Faith, the Season of Lent, and Immaculee Ilibagiza

Lent is starting tomorrow. I cannot tell you how excited I am to start this journey with The Lord. I have never been at a place in my life where I can say that my best friend is God. I have a relationship with Him now and I want to continue to nurture this relationship and I want it to grow. I pray the Rosary everyday and this brings me peace and comfort. I always have a Rosary in my pocket, I cannot leave my home without it. I clutch it tightly when I feel overwhelmed with work or life and ask God to help me. I don’t know how to describe the serene feeling I get when I am deep in my Rosary. Then I just talk to God, The Blessed Mother, and Jesus. I just talk and let all of my concerns, pains, sufferings, tribulations, and any good news out on the table. There is nothing that I don’t talk to God about. I fully trust Him!! I pray everyday that my heart opens and let Him know that he can come in; I pray that my ears open even more so that I may hear His voice calling to me, my mouth that every word that comes out of it is not evil but pure. When I ever feel that I am being tempted by the Devil, I close my eyes and pray for God to protect me. The best shield I have is my prayers. I haven’t always been this way, I can tell you it's been quite a journey to get to this place. To get to a place where I can just leave my life in the Lord's hands, took me 25 years!

I know what your thinking, why the sudden change? Well, I was told by someone that they didn’t like who THEY were when they were around me. This hurt but it also spiraled me into a place where I had to reconfigure who I was. If they didn’t like who they were maybe I need to change. I began to pray. I prayed for strength mostly at first. With the Help of a Novena to St. Joseph, (just in case you don’t know what a novena is…A novena is the reciting of powerful prayers and devotions for a special request over nine consecutive days. Traditionally, a novena included praying, fasting, and meditating) I prayed for strength. Losing this friend still pangs me from time to time but with the help of my Catholic faith and St. Joseph the pain has slowly started to diminish. Then I prayed a Novena to St. Jude and that’s where I found how Great the feeling of being Loved, protected, and trusting of someone. St. Jude is my patron Saint; he brought me back to life and reality and closer to Our Lord. So, that’s what brought about my sudden increase prayer and faith.

From there it continued upward. My Church is having a Catholic retreat with Immaculee Ilibagiza on March 9, 2012. She wrote a book called “Left to Tell” and my Mom told me that I needed to read this book before we went to see her. So I bought it on my Nook and was introduced to a whole new way to look at my Catholic Faith. I have never cried so much or re-evaluated my life so much while reading a book. Even writing about it now is bringing tears to my eyes. Happy tears. Immaculee suffered so much during the Rwanda genocide but forgave the man who killed her family, forgave all the Hutu’s who committed murder, and forgave the Pastor when he would talk down to her. In the book she states that she would pray…and she prayed…and she prayed! She stated that she began to feel The Lord’s presence around her. She would pray the Rosary everyday with her Father’s red and white Rosary that he gave her before sending her to the Pastors house to hide. She stated that this brought her safe and that she felt at Home. She stated that God was with her and she could feel Him. She lived in a tiny bathroom with 7 other women for 3 months with nothing but her Faith to keep her going. Through prayer, Immaculee survived and gained an everlasting friendship with The Blessed Mother and Our Lord. The entire book made me cry because I realized how badly I wanted that relationship with God. And so, I prayed…and I prayed…and I still pray!!

"God never shows us something we aren’t ready to understand. Instead, He lets us see what we need to see, when we need to see it. He’ll wait until our eyes and hearts are open to Him, and then when we’re ready, He will plant our feet on the path that’s best for us . . . but it’s up to us to do the walking"
I’m not one of those Christians who will go around to preach the good word, but I do believe in my Catholic Faith. In fact I believe whole heartedly in the Apostle’s Creed of the Catholic Faith.

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord: Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary; suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried. He descended into hell; the third day He rose again from the dead; He ascended into heaven, is seated at the right hand of God the Father Almighty; from thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic Church, the communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.

I began to go to Reconciliation after re-evaluating myself. The first time I went in January 2012, I cried to Monsignor and asked for absolution of all my sins. Then I went again the next week and cried some more and sat with God at adoration and prayed. I continued to go and this last weekend at confession, I felt at Home and I didn’t cry I smiled. Monsignor hugged me and kissed my hand, He told me that God Loves me and I will always be His child no matter what sins I commit and that He was proud of me. He then stated, “Welcome Home” I smiled and kissed Monsignor’s cheek and sat with God in adoration without tears but happiness. And so, with the Season of Lent upon Me I am giving myself to The Lord. I am going to pray the Rosary every day when I awake and again before I go to sleep. When I feel like the Devil is talking to me, I will close my eyes and pray. When I think about wishing ill of someone, I will pray. When life just seems to get the best of me as it sometimes will, I will PRAY! I want to grow in my Catholic Faith and Let God in. Jesus, I Trust in You.